Here We Are

Well here I am. I've managed to find my way back into the "swing of things" at home. It's crazy how quote unquote REALITY can hit you. I was on a "high" from Colorado. I was very much in tune with God and focused on His purpose for my life. With Him I was unstoppable. He provided me a new job (which I love), a new church (which is incredible), and yes...my parents did get used to the new me. It was crazy to think how quickly things could change.

They did.

A month after I got home my best friend was killed in a car accident. I went from the "ultimate high" to the "lowest of lows." I struggled with my faith and questioned God why He would take someone so young. I was angry because while people kept telling me that Zach (my bff) was saved...I didn't know for myself. I asked myself questions such as "did you and him ever talk about God?" "well why not?" "do you talk about God with any of your friends?" oh. Just the christian ones who live for God....THAT MAKES SENSE. These thoughts paraded my mind day in and day out. Not only was I grieving...it's still a process, but I was questioning God. Each of those takes its own toll on you.

So I did the only reasonable thing. I kept busy. I started being involved in every possible activity at church, working late, exercising a lot more, going out for coffee in the evenings until it was bedtime and I was exhausted. I couldn't bear the thought of having to process losing my best friend and my religion. I stopped reading my bible, I stopped my study, and I did everything except what I needed to do. Yet there I was being an "over-comer" to everyone around me. Still a woman on fire for God, focused on bringing Him to every situation. I was "holding up strong" and even helping others while they were grieving. All while I was a wreck inside.

This was three months ago.

Today I recognize that God is still King and I will live for Him. I have started reading my bible again, and I'm slowly remembering His promises. I recognized that by keeping busy I wasn't facing the reality that my best friend had passed, or the reality that God was there. This has been a very excruciating process. It is far from over, yet I recognize how I cope with things on an earthly level and it is far from what I need to do. God is so good.

Life sucks sometimes.

The beauty of it sucking is that you can learn the difference between dealing with life on your own or trusting in the One who holds all things. Once you're in you have to be ALL IN WITH GOD because when life gets tough there is nothing left in our earthly mind that will be beneficial. Turn to God in times of trouble for He has given us the voice of triumph!

I'm HOME

Hey everyone!
I'm SO sorry that this can't be longer but I just wanted to catch you up on a few things.
First off. I'm HOME!
Secondly. I'm exhausted. Haha There happen to be three other crazy girls on my team. I love them to death. We are quite a unique group. There's the ranch girl from Colorado, the dancer from Tennessee, and the writer from Australia. Then there's me. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
 This experience was life changing to say the least. I learned so much about who I am in Christ and the authority He's given us. Plus about two more months worth of studying topics such as relationships, story telling, warfare, hearing God's voice and SO much more!!!
I am a new person. Those around me would more than likely vouche for that.
As the team and I were praying about where God wants us to go on outreach next May we all heard Nepal.
As excited as I am about this, I admit...I had to look on a map and see where it's at. For those of you who don't know it's between India and China.
 A couple prayer requests before I go. Please keep my "sisters" in your prayers as one is heading elsewhere to teach a DTS, and the rest of us are working on finances. Next, please pray for my family. They aren't quite sure how to get used to the "new me." That's a feeling I quite enjoy. lol. Next, please pray that God would speak clearly to our leaders as they are planning what we will be doing in Nepal. They are a great group of people who work hard to make this experience perfect. Lastly, I pray that you keep me in your prayers as I am in a crazy transition with a new church, new job, and new outlook on life. SOOOOO I'm praying hard and expecting God to move in significant ways. I leave you on this note... "Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known."- Jeremiah 33:3 ESV
Blessings,
Dianna

Counting Down The Days

As the day gets closer, I admit I'm nervous.  It seems as though there isn't enough time to get everything done. My calendar is a sure reminder each day that time is ticking. Today I looked and there are precisely 38 days before I pack up the car with my dad and we start the 20 hour drive. As I look at my list of things to do it seems nearly impossible. Finish buying supplies, pack my bags, quadruple check that I have everything, buy the items I forgot the first three times I checked, pre-pay my phone bill, clean my room, get all paperwork in order, get parents on my accounts etc etc. With all this going on I've realized it's so easy to lose sight of what is important. Spend time with family, thank those who support me, and even moreso, continue praying. I have gotten lost in all the stuff that needs to be done that I forgot to pray over it. Who forgets to pray over a trip that God destined? Yup, that's me. Simple, human, me.

Last night, when I got home from work I finally did what I truly needed to do. I spent time with God. I opened my Bible for the first time in what seemed like weeks and was reminded that while it is so easy to get caught up in everything wrong, I still need to remember that God ordained this for my life, and He has it all under control.   [Psalm 119:105-"Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path."]

His word was all I needed to remind me of my path. This is not for me. This is not for my friends, not for my family. THIS IS FOR GOD. Once I realized that His words continue leading me, I felt an utmost sense of relief and urgency. The days are counting down, but my focus is no longer on what I need to do in order to be prepared. My focus is on God alone. It is urgent that I share His word NOW! Why wait until I get to Cimmaron? Why wait until the "time is right?" Time is running out. Not until I leave, but until He comes again!

If we knew that God was coming back on say Tuesday at 9am, what would our focus be on? I can say with complete certainty that my focus would not be getting ready for this trip. I'd be preparing people for the one trip that matters: Eternity.

As I end this thought, I want to encourage you. Please don't spend today thinking about what needs to be done for tomorrow. "Dream as if you have forever, live to make each moment last."

What Lead to This Decision

 I'm going to give the whole story here as a sort of background as to where I'm going now. When I was a senior in High School I joined a program called Americorps. It's kindof like a Red Cross program. You volunteer to help in disaster areas and in turn they give you money for college. It was a horribly long application process. Well, after six months I hadn't heard anything so I buckled down and decided to go to college. While attending LMC I was looking into larger colleges to transfer to for a degree in Social Work. I then heard from Americorps. They wanted me to leave the NEXT day! Being the mature adult I was I quit my job, dropped my classes, then broke the news to my parents. You can imagine how well that went. :p Long story short, I stayed home. I was lucky enough to get my job back and be allowed back into my classes without a problem. 

I continue looking for a college and find one that would be perfect. College of the Ozarks. This college is for students who need financial help. You work on campus to pay your tuition. It is Christian based and in a different state; everything I was looking for.  I applied. When I finally heard from them I was told that I was on the bottom of the waitlist. My heart dropped. I couldn't understand why God would allow every door that I find to close in my face.

As all this was going on I started to realize that while I did the whole "church" thing, I didn't have that connection I desperately desired with God. I prayed. That's all I could do, and finally I had that "2x4" moment where it feels like you were smacked in the face. God had bigger plans for my life. I was doing what every other teenager does. Graduate, go to college, find a job they hate, graduate from college, and continue to another job that they thought they'd love but can't stand.

I felt it on my heart to do missions. I have a crazy desire to change the world and I can't control it. While doing some research on missionaries I came across a program called Youth With A Mission (YWAM). I took my time, prayed about it, had others pray for me, talked to my parents, and finally decided to apply. It seemed like ages before I heard from them but I had been accepted to do mission work in Australia! I immediately started fundraising. I sent out support letters, tried to talk at a couple churches (all of which wanted nothing to do with it) and hosted a Night of Worship. Long story short, I didn't raise the amount of money I needed so I was stuck again. It broke my heart. Why wouldn't God provide when I knew it was what He wanted me to do with my life, when it was to bring Him glory? It took some time but I realized that missions was still my calling so I tried again. I applied for a different YWAM program and I KNOW this is where He wants me. Since being accepted, He has blessed me with a second job, a church family that is behind me 100%, and almost all the means to get there.

The end of May I will be going to Colorado to attend a "discipleship training school." (DTS) There I will get to dig into God's word like never before, see His majesty by camping under the stars, and be surrounded by God-fearing people. We will learn how to "make disciples of all nations" and pray about where we will travel to.

I will return to Michigan the middle of August, but my journey will not be over. I will intern with a local church and be actively involved in the community. I will also be raising even more money. I have been guaranteed both of my jobs back and all the money I make there will go towards the second half of the trip. The team and I will be traveling to Southeast Asia where we will get to work with the local missionaries in the orphanages and schools. I have a hard time believing that God wouldn't want me there. It is perfect. Sharing His word in orphanages all over the world! Wanting to be a social worker that specializes with kids....ya. It explains itself.

As you can imagine, I am swamped with things I need to do. I still have to raise about $4,000. That is the hardest part. I have been blessed with friends, family, and churches that have been willing to donate to me. I can't even put into words how much their support means to me. More importantly though, people from all over the world have been praying for me. At last count I have people from 15 different countries praying for me. You cannot possibly imagine how awesome of a feeling that is. It's like nothing I've ever felt. I have this incredible sense of peace and security. God is so good to us, and He provides when it is truly His will.

I really appreciate your support on this journey I'm facing. As cliche as that sounds, I mean it. I would not be able to do this if it weren't for the people standing behind me with God as my leader. There's a song I love and it says "I know who walks before me, I know who stands behind, the God of angel armies is always by my side." Each and every person that prays for me, donates to me, and even the ones that are just curious about my life are my army.

  

God Bless,

Dianna Pickard